Basic, not base emotions

Often, I muse upon the subtleties between enthusiasm and optimism; risk taking and impulse, self-sacrificing and altruism, and so on. These are fascinating areas of thought, and inferences from a similar behavior may trace back to different origins. E.g. who do you think is more of a risk taker - the cricketer Sehwag, or Virat Kohli? Who is more of the impulsive businessperson - Richard Branson or Vijay Mallya?

If seen from a more coarse, or meta-level, what may be the basic emotions we experience as humans? I am left with what Master Richard McHugh taught us years ago. He said there are four basic forms that emotions take. Our brains are capable of focussing on finite chunks of emotion in given time, and as such, may not process each with similar vitality or intensity in the same moment. Yet, when distilled, there are 4 basic emotions to deal with as below.

1.       Joy – where celebration and the general word happiness exist. This may not be an absence of grief, but surely the discovery of meaning is a great contender here. 

      For me meaningfulness is an necessary reframing of grief at times, as the travails of nature hold up gifts through experiences of suffering.

2.       Grief – where the helplessness in loss pervades, and stymies the senses accordingly to a near foreclosure of options. It is grieving during separation, or death of a loved one that calls for a spirited appraisal of emotional investment. Grief is a coming to terms with nature’s cycles when ends are a renewal or a rebirth of life-forms.

3.       Anger – where not being able to get what one wanted is asserted in varying levels of intensity. Unlike grief, it is a contacting emotion, as the aim one can benefit from in the case of anger is a deepening of one’s relationship with the other with whom we are angry.

4.       Sex – and this is the counter-intuitive emotion. Sex is a procreating drive for most, but it is a life-assertive energy that when repressed causes more ill – physical, social and emotional, than we are willing to admit. Sex as bodily differentiation in gender and unity of species as life-form is slow but essential realization. Deep respect can only ensue from traversing the deep masculine, shallow masculine, and deep feminine and shallow feminine aspects of sexual identity in the same body. It is about tuning in to one’s body and its creative forces. It is also about understanding that repressed from civil discourse, we often confuse this with love – which, in fact is a decision, and more than a fundamental emotion.

Having made mention, it is useful to be clear about love. Love is a decision to give in conscious awareness all of oneself to oneself, and to others who may share in spirit, social relationship or ideology. In this sense, love is not a free flowing emotion. It is not an object of manipulation either. As Osho Rajneesh once mentioned, it is psychologically impossible to love another without loving oneself. Self-acceptance and self-improvement are both components of self-esteem, and impoverishing either reduces the chances of loving others.

Loving others as oneself, therefore is a whole new meaning - a joy to live into!

What do you think?

Being Alive past Illusion and Misery

That man is a social being is a familiar quote. However, the Society of Jesus produces those gems, that are rare. Anthony D'mello SJ is one such remarkable soul. I was told of him 3 years ago by Richard McHugh SJ.

I was spurred to buy his title Awareness - The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, from Bangalore's Sapna Book Stall. Published by Doubleday, it is a constant companion book.Quite likely that other titles by this exceptional thinker and being would be more than spirituality.


While reading him I thought the parallels between his utterances and that of Osho Rajneesh were so close. However, after going through the videos I realised that he is an Original. He is in the Minority of One, his Spirit at least. He died when least expected. Dick as we call Fr. McHugh mentions Tony's name with fondness, gratitude and sorrow. It was only this week,that I realised how dutifully, passionately and lovingly, someone has curated some video recordings of Tony D'mello's talks. Here are some of them...

Attraction is blind, not Love. Love is a Decision. The first statement is that of Tony D'mello. The latter from Dick. Dick whetted the concept through experiential reflection as also the rigor of scientific examination. Dick went on to become the first person on the planet to have a Doctoral study on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Dick studied the Masters of NLP, interviewed them, studied under them,  and studied about them. Michael Hall was his dissertation panelist. Dick's industriusoness is an easy contrast with Tony's flowing intuitiveness. Tony's spontaneity and facility with linguistic and tonal expression a clear clue to clear sightedness and insight. 

Dick refers to Tony as a friend, teacher and colleague in service. Just as Gestalt seems to be a field that stayed at it's premises before it's phase transition to something as more comprehensive and wholesome as NLP, so did Tony pass away before he could combine with the compassion of Dick to create something of a legacy in well-being.

Tony's works are nonetheless unique. The thought stream he represents would appear like a processing of decades. It is fundamentally uplifting, an invitation to reprogramming our lives. 'Cravinglessness' is a state of insight as much as freedom. Ambition brings tension, whereas energy in work is that which is delightfully participated in. As a student of life, I find this stream of thinking more than a relief. It is an exercise in the framing of premises about life. It is a paradigm, that if you catch, others will likely be infected with enthusiasm and liberation from untested dogma.